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=:[ Sunday, February 29, 2004 ]:= =:-:=
There was once...
i was talking happily to the girl i love ..
we talked alot... about love... nature... our family background...
everything was great... it was perfect...
i wanted to tell her about my true feelings towards her...
But... I was to shy to tell her i love her ..
cause i was afraid she might reject me ..
i ended up being her godbrother ..
and she loved me as a godbrother ..
Whenever She called me "gor"... i would feel a sense of grieve...
Deep inside me... my heart hurts...
One day i muster up my courage and asked her for a date ..
"erm... Samantha... will you... go out with me?"
She agreed and i was happy .. really happy...
The day came ...
i dressed myself up .. thinking where should i bring her to... a movie?? beach??
i quickly rushed to the place i would be meeting her ..
waiting eagerly for the person i love to turn up ..
i waited...and waited .. but she did not turn up ..
i waited for 2 hrs .. but she never turned up ..
i never gave up .. and continued waiting... 3 hrs passed... 4...5...6....
I keep on telling myself that she would come...
Dont wanna give up... i thought maybe she have a reason for not comming....
i look at my watch... its 7pm... too late to go anywhere now...
so... i decided to go home... with heavy footsteps...
then... i received a call that she got into an accident while crossing a road...
She lost alot of blood and might not live ...
After hearing that...
my hand was trembling and i dropped my handphone...
it was spoilt... but i dint care...
cause.... she was far more important that my handphone...
Shocked and felt with agony ..
i rushed to the hospital .. praying that she will be alright ..
Why did all that happen to her? Why can't it happen to me??
i rather die than to let her die .. why did fate chose her ??
fate... YOU SHOULD KNOW MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT HER!!
Endless tears flowed as i rushed to the hospital ...
As soon as i reached the hospital .. i quickly ran into the hospital room ..
My legs were thired of massive running... but i dont care..
i ignore my legs cries of telling me to stop and continue running...
When i reach the room... i saw her lying on bed...
with the injection tubes and hospital equipments beside her...
The doctors told me that she will die soon ..
and asked me to tell her my last words before she leave this world ..
i nearly collaped after hearing this...
i begged the doctors to try thier best to save her...
the doctors told me that they have aready did their best...
And it'll take a miracle for her to survive...
Everyone left the room .. and i was alone with her ..
I looked at her and my tears were comming out...
but i told myself not to cry cause i dont want her to see me sad...
but i just couldnt help it... tears rolled down my cheeks...
She told me not to cry .. because everyone would leave the world..
Finally i said with a heartbroken voice....
" You know .. i have always been wanting to say something to you..
is that... i love you ... ever since the first time i saw you ..
i had fall in love with you...
sorry..i did not tell u earlier .. i really regret it .."
Her dying eyes looked at me with happiness ...
I looked deep into her eyes...
she told me ... " you know what? i had been loving u too!!"
"sorry for not telling you neither... i cant seems to have the courage...
thats why i became your godsis... i dont wanna lose you!!"
After i heard those words .. i hugged her tightly and gave her a kiss..
she smiled at me and said thank you...
then .. she slowly close her eyes...
her body felt lifeless .. i looked at her .. she was dead......
i gave her another kiss.... a kiss of goodbye...
i cried and cried throughout the night ...
wishing that the one who was dead was me and not her ..
why .. why didn't i tell her i loved her from the start?
if i had told her .. we would be together .. why ..
why did i ask her to go on a date??
if i didn't .. she wouldn't get into an accident...
why ...just.. why!!
WHY!!! this can't be fate .. why is fate going against me ..
its my fault she got into this accident .. my fault ..
totally my fault ... i really hate myself for it ...
deep within my heart... i felt that something was missing...
something... which i belived was called true love...
But .. suddenly .. i heard a voice in my head ..
deep wintin my heart... it was her voice ..
she said .."its not ur fault .. its juz fate ..
fate wants me to leave this world faster .. dun blame urself plz ..
now i'm happy in heaven .. remember ..
dont worry... im happy that you said that you love me...
maybe we cant be together for now...
but maybe we could be together in our next life...
till then.. i would be waiting ... waiting for you...
and i hope that you would love me too...
i am looking down at u from heaven..
just remember... when you were happy... i would be happy too...
and also remember.. i love u!!! Cya!"
i always remembered the words she told me
i wanted to start a new life ...
i took her as my wife deep in my heart .. always loyal to her ..
i never looked at other girls with pervertic eyes...
and i was always happy cause i knew that if i was happy ...
she would be happy too ...
To Ppl Out There .. If U Truly Love A Person .. Tell that person before its too late .. coz u might never see that person again !!!!!
-:- [ Sinika Bounike ] -:- [5:16 PM] -:-